Vastness

October 4, Sheridan, Wyoming

The phrase ‘God’s own country’ keeps drifting through my mind as we drive. Vast sky, vast plains, vast forests – this vastness is part of what I associate with God. God created the vastness and we divided it up. Nations, countries, states, counties, towns, communities, neighborhoods, families, houses, rooms…

Tonight we take refuge from this vastness in a sanitized, grassy community park with carefully spaced shade trees, a playground and well-tended lawn. It’s free and we’re allowed to pitch our tent here while we wait for the parts for our car to arrive and be installed tomorrow morning. Last night was the ‘height’ of our camping experience (3 nights and counting). Driving the last 20 miles on a ladder-backed gravel road from Devil’s Tower, we found most campsites closed for the season until we arrived at the Rocky End area of the Keyhole State Park. No water, electricity or sign of other campers, but no bar across the road either. We pitched our tent on a pebbly outcrop on the shore of the reservoir and heard only the fish or turtles splashing, the wind blowing the tent and maybe 4-legged visitors to the nearby bank getting a drink of the clear water. I say ‘maybe’ because neither of us was willing to get up to investigate the sounds.

For two days we’d been driving through the South Dakota plains, Badlands and Black Hills. Exclaiming, taking photo ops, soaking in the vast (there’s that word again) beauty during the day, we spent 2 nights getting our camping ‘feet’. The first night turned cold fast and we froze. The second night we successfully found an empty cabin with lights and heating. Joy and bliss. Yesterday we splurged on a queen sized inflatable bed with an electric pump to get us off the cold ground and learned a few useful things about sleeping on it last night.

So are we ready for Yellowstone? Well, the lady at the Wyoming information center doesn’t recommend it. Unpredictable weather including rain and snow (!), most camping areas closed for the winter, and so on. 

Today can be seen as a setback on the way or a respite from the vastness while we take some alone time here after a leisurely picnic lunch. I needed some time to examine a few selves that had been occupying my body. As always, a page opened at random from Rumi served up the wisdom I needed. “When something goes wrong, accuse yourself first.” And then, “Half-heartedness doesn’t reach into majesty. You set out to find God, but then you keep stopping for long periods at mean-spirited roadhouses.” Here I am on the journey of my lifetime with my beloved fellow traveler. Why should I let any annoyed, impatient or irritated self hijack me? Half of me exclaims over the vast beauty while the other half fumes inside. What a waste of gas! We calculate our expenses and our mileage but all this is meaningless if I’m being half-hearted in my experience of my own life. I am a self-proclaimed ‘joy carrier’. There is no other day for it.